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Domestic violence is the outcome; it is the product of entitlement-based coercive control over an intimate partner or family.  The compensatory need to intimidate a partner using violence is indeed entitlement, whereby one partner seeks to manipulate those within his or her zones of comfort to compensate for his or her selfishness.  Born of what I refer to as the In-Group: Inferiority, Inadequacy, and Insignificance – in short, Insecurity — those deficient in their personal self-efficacy look outside of themselves for validation through the control of others. Unlike the motivating factors to anger-based aggression (e.g., self-righteousness and revenge), those of entitlement, as fostered through irrational perspectives of centrality, deservedness, and superiority do not seek to confront and intimidate others, rather coerce others through manipulation whereby incrementally gaining self-righteous power.

Unlike self-righteous anger which has as its goal the need to eliminate the negativity associated with angering oneself, and revenge, which has as its goal the elimination of the perceived cause responsible for the angering experience, domestic coerciveness is compensatory.  In effect, domestic coerciveness is cyclical.  Whereas anger-based aggression is confrontational, domestic coerciveness serves a purpose.  The transgressor seeks to incrementally and gradually, through varying degrees of frequency, intensity, and duration, blindside or manipulate the partner into fulfilling the role of someone who is less than, worse off than the the transgressor.  The goal is conditioned helplessness and hopelessness, blatant subservience to fulfilling the validation needs of the abuser.  In time, the validator surrenders power of control to the dominance of the abuser whereby validating the abuser’s sense of centrality, “I am the important one here,” deservedness, “My position must be recognized and validated as more than, better than yours,” and superiority, “The world must recognize my importance.”  Of course all of this is self-serving delusional thinking.  Nonetheless, as manifest in the cyclical nature to this cycle,  the automaticity exists and as such, the involved abuser needs to be an active participant in order to experience a sense of self-importance not otherwise achievable.